Tag: modesty

Hi, P.I.M PALS! (o^-^o)/

Welcome to today’s blog post about the misconceptions of modesty.

Throughout my school life, I was in a class where there was always tension whenever the topic of modesty came up.

Oftentimes, the teacher would start the discussion and would encourage the girls in my class to dress modestly. The girls in my class usually became very defensive in these discussions.

In many of their responses, my class would make multiple sarcastic comments about modesty and “modest fashion”, similar to the following:

“I’m sorry, but I’m not trying to look like an Amish person.”

“I don’t want to come to school dressed like a nun, sorry if that’s immodest.”

“I am going to look like my grandma.”

“Hey guys, I should come in wearing a hijab!”

As these statements were being made, everyone in the class would laugh and agree with each other.

In many places, and especially all over social media, I have seen these types of comments being made by those who dislike modest fashion and towards those who encourage it. This is because “immodest fashion” is typically what gets more attention and is more widely accepted for its many appeals.

Immodest fashion is very popular because it is promoted as a form of empowerment for many girls and women. Nowadays, people are encouraged to wear what they want as a way to fully and freely express themselves. Immodest fashion tends to align with this more than modest fashion, as modesty is usually seen as a restrictive concept that limits what a person can wear, thereby limiting a person’s ability to express themselves. Meanwhile, wearing immodest fashion is seen as exercising full freedom over one’s apparel, no matter how scandalous. Given that immodest clothing can also be very stylish and trendy, more and more people prefer to wear immodest clothing if it means they can also be stylish and trendy, instead of wearing modest clothing, which they believe to be the opposite.

However, what some people get wrong or misunderstand about modesty is that they think it means dressing in plain, boring, or baggy clothing that lacks style and beauty, all for the sake of covering up. This common misconception is the reason many people roll their eyes when they hear about modesty or modest apparel. 🙄

Fashion and modesty are not mutually exclusive. In other words, you can dress modestly and still be fashionable. Dressing modestly doesn’t mean you have to always sacrifice style and beauty all for the sake of covering up. There are plenty of outfits out there that are conservative, yet stylish.

The same is true the other way around. For people who believe in modesty and modest apparel, sometimes they can be too quick to turn down certain clothing that they believe to be immodest, simply because it is trendy or popular. However, though immodest fashion is very popular, not everything immodest is popular. This means that some things that are trendy and stylish can still be modest and can be worn without violating the concept of modesty. In other words, modesty has a much bigger wardrobe than what some people think.

With that being said, subscribing to a modest lifestyle in terms of fashion can come with sacrifices. As I said previously, there is a lot of clothing out there that is very stylish and trendy but is also immodest. If you are trying to wear only modest fashion, then you will find that there are certain outfits and fashion styles that you like, but can’t wear because they are immodest.

For instance, countless times I have experienced going to the mall and browsing through online stores, where I saw outfits that I really liked and wanted because they were so cute and so my style, but I couldn’t buy them because they were immodest, and therefore not to my full taste.

In those same moments, sometimes I would look for a possible modest alternative to the immodest outfit. Though, oftentimes, I was left even more disappointed and frustrated when I couldn’t find one. At that point, I’ve often thought “It shouldn’t be a big deal if I still wear it. The length/cut isn’t so bad!”. But because I value modesty, I knew that I would feel uncomfortable wearing the outfit because it’s immodest, which would ultimately lead me to regret wearing it anyway.

The point is, if you are trying to live modestly and wear modest clothing (which I strongly encourage), know that you will most likely have to make sacrifices for outfits that you really want, but can’t wear without compromising your values. Again, however, don’t be discouraged by this, and know that there is stylish, trendy, and modest apparel out there for you.

Though, this begs a certain question that a lot of people have when they begin to explore modest apparel: what actually counts as modest apparel?

For those who find modest fashion distasteful, they will often answer this question with their own questions or sarcastic comments about what does or doesn’t constitute modest apparel. For example, when my peers in school were encouraged to wear modest apparel, they would respond similarly with the following comments:

“Oh, so am I supposed to hide my shoulders?”

“Oh my, are her ankles showing?! How immodest!”

“Her arms are showing! Is that scandalous?!”

“My shorts are an inch too short. Guess I’m immodest!”

“So I guess you always dress modestly. Does that mean I have to dress like you?”

No matter how seemingly mocking or silly those comments may have been, they are still grounded in the genuine question of what is considered modest apparel. You will find that when attempting to answer that question, especially through people’s opinions, is that everyone does not share the same standard of modesty and ideas of what constitutes modest apparel.

Let’s look at a common area where we see different standards of modesty: school dress codes. Some schools’ dress codes virtually allow you to wear what you want as long as what you are wearing isn’t terribly inappropriate (like a swimsuit). However, some schools, such as private schools, have stricter dress codes where some things that would be allowed in most other schools, would be restricted and considered immodest instead.

The point being is that even official organizations, such as schools and workplaces have different standards of modesty. However, modest fashion is something that is not only limited to school and business life but expands to daily life as well. Since there is no “dress code” for daily life, it can be hard to determine what is daily modest apparel because as I stated before, there are so many different standards of modesty and a variety of opinions from different people on what is considered modest apparel. This makes it very complex to figure out which standard of modesty is the correct and/or most consistent standard of modesty, which causes many people to reject modesty and modest fashion due to not really knowing what is modesty and modest clothing.

So since there are so many standards of modesty out there, what standard of modesty should we abide by? Whose standard of modesty is consistent for everyday life? We can find the answer to those questions by not looking to people for the answer, but by instead looking to the person Who created the concept of modesty in the first place: God.

God is the One who created the concept of modesty in the first place, and therefore set the absolute standard of modesty. However, God’s standard of modesty is different from ours because it is not solely a specific dress code or a list of clothing and outfits that He deems modest. God’s standard of modesty involves more than our apparel and choice of fashion. It primarily involves directions on how to live our lives and express ourselves.

God’s standard of modesty can be found within the following Scripture verses:

1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV) – “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

Colossians 3:17 (ESV) – “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

According to these verses, modesty is about presenting yourself in a way that glorifies God and represents His glory. This applies to not only our clothing, but to all forms of expression, including all of our actions, words, and behaviors. So according to God’s standard, someone who is modest is someone who is presenting themselves in a way that glorifies God through every aspect of their lives. That is true modesty.

And so, when it comes to our apparel, according to God’s standard of modesty, what we wear should present ourselves in a way that glorifies God.

So now that we know what is true modesty and what constitutes modest apparel, the question is now what clothing helps us represent God’s glory?

Unfortunately, this question is hard to answer because, as I said before, God’s standard of modesty is not a specific list of clothing that He deems appropriate. Even amongst Christians, this question is heavily debated. For example, my mother used to be a part of a Pentecostal church where it was considered immodest for women to wear pants. However, a church of a different denomination that I attended didn’t have an issue with women wearing pants and didn’t consider that to be immodest.

So, since even Christians disagree on what apparel is modest, then the only way to determine what apparel helps us represent God’s glory is by asking God Himself. And yes, I do mean to literally ask Him what outfits or fashion styles He deems modest.

Many of you may think that sounds silly to basically ask God “Do you like this outfit?”. But I assure you that you won’t be wasting your time when you consult God with what you think might be small in His eyes. After all, God is the One who commands us to present ourselves the best way we can (by His glory), which means that He definitely cares about what outfits we use to present ourselves to the world.

And don’t worry, reader. Following God’s standard of modesty and consulting Him on your apparel doesn’t mean He will have you wear nothing but shirts that say “Jesus, My Rock”. If that’s your concern, then you will be surprised that God has a great fashion sense, and I am pretty sure that the literal Creator of the Universe will know what clothes will look great on you and at the same time will not violate His standard of modesty. God knows and cares about every detail about us (Psalm 37:23 NIV), from the outfits we wear to the total number of hairs on our heads (Luke 12:7 NIV). He is our Creator after all, and He knows that we all have different styles, tastes, and interests that He put in us, and He finds it important that we express and shine who we are through fashion (and everything else) while glorifying Him.

One of the primary ways God will help you determine what apparel is modest by His standard is by giving you a personal conviction that corresponds to His standard of modesty and holiness. Either through the guidance of the Holy Spirit or your own conscience, God will guide you on what clothing you should wear that will both express the true you and represent His glory.

In conclusion, reader, you need to know that modesty is not just about apparel or fashion. True modesty is about always us presenting ourselves in a way that glorifies God, through everything that we say and do. When it comes to our apparel, we should consult God on what clothing will best represent His glory, because He set the standard of modesty. I encourage you, reader, to value modesty within your heart and ask God today to give you a personal conviction that will help you live a modest life. Living a modest life is one of the things God calls us to do. And so we must take up our cross, and follow His commandments, for that is the best way we can live and be a light for God.

So, reader, what are your thoughts on modesty? Will you strive to live a life of modesty?

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Your P.I.M PAL,

Selene